Patterson California Boudoir Photographer | Wine and False Eyelash, Do Not Mix

March 06, 2017  •  Leave a Comment

A boudoir photography session with Karen Ludwig Boudoir Photography is a full photographic event.  Not only do we get sexy with Karen, here in the Central Valley, Patterson, California, it's a boutique experience, with yummy treats and a mimosa that'll knock your sox off (which is convenient since this is a clothing optional situation). I schedule and arrange a seasoned professional hair stylist as well as makeup artist for each shoot. Sometimes women want a sultry sexy makeup look.  Sometimes they want something soft and alluring.  Whatever the case, when she adds those false eyelashes, my clients eyes really pop. I mean POP! Those extra lashes take the look to a whole different level of sexy. A level that I, personally, wanted to achieve.

Now, I'm a pretty outdoorsy kind of girl. I like camping, gardening, and taking the four wheel drive down to the river. But hey, I scrub up pretty good if the situation arrises. So I had a glass or two of wine one night and ordered me a pair of $45 gorgeous false lashes. I. Was. Giddy. You know how you get emails, telling you your order has shipped? I screenshot that and posted it on Facebook. It was that kind of exciting. Finally the fluffy little gems arrived. But I controlled my joy and set them aside. You don't want to be hasty with these. I mean, they were intended to be worn like 30 times. I didn't want to mess them up. So I watched a YouTube "how to" video on application, bought the recommended glue, and waited for just the right time to get glamorous. This was serious business!

One Friday night, the hubs calls, on his way home from work, and says his buddy's band is playing that night at Woodbridge Crossings, a restaurant /bar about 30 minutes south of Sacramento. SCORE! First things first, I hit the gym, because the dress that'll go with my lashes is a little clingy and I need to drop 27 lbs in the next 3 hours. Workout, check. After slipping out of my sweaty sports bra, I rewarded my effort with a glass of wine. Don't judge me, I earned it at the gym. Shower, hair, and makeup, as prescribed in my eyelash tutorial, and I was all ready for my sexy eyes! Hubs helped a sister out and refilled my glass while I trimmed the lash strip length to fit my eyes. Have I mentioned that these were $45? And I'm taking scissors to them?! No worries, me and that Pinio Grigio got this.Trim, then check the length. Trim, check, trim, check. Time for glue. You know that face you make when you put mascara on? Apparently I make the same face applying glue. Suuuuper pretty. It takes about 45 seconds (or 3 healthy swigs from a wine glass) for the glue to get tacky. Ahhhh the moment of truth. I slip one on the right eye, pinned it in place, and it sticks perfectly. Only it's too long and looks kinda ridiculous. Even the hubs, who is now my intrigued audience, because this event is taking longer than expected and he's gauging how much later our reservation needs to be, could only say "well.... they are long". Which I'm pretty sure is code for, I don't like them. But I had one on and I was committed to see this through.

Three more swigs and good ol' lefty is tacky. I lined up the strip, laid that bad boy on my left eye, carefully tried to pin it in place, and the SOB stuck to my lashes. I didn't  have time for this! How the chick in the tutorial made it look so effortless, is beyond me. But now I kinda' hate her and I'm starting to sweat. Time to hydrate. Three more swigs. Remember the neighborhood kid that could turn his eyelids inside out, when you were younger? I'm now one of them.  Pulling a strip of glued on falsies off my eye was a harrowing experience. I'm surprised that I have any of my own lashes left behind. The mascara, that looked so nice before I started this madness, had gobs of goo making them stick together and to my lid. Faaaaabulous.  The hubs, who was patiently waiting, decided he was going to help. Ummm no.  I can't even put eye drops in, not happening, bruh. You're not fingering my eyeball. I thanked the maker that I chose a sleeveless dress because my under arms were starting to reveal my frustration. I cursed the perky girl in the tutorial again, drained my glass, then tried a second time to put the left strip on. Once again, it didn't line up, but at this point, me and the two (or three, I lost count) glasses of wine didn't care. It's probably dim lighting in the restaurant, right? Who will even notice? But my man informed me otherwise, "I can see that it's not on". In a fit of frustration, I unceremoniously stripped both eyes of their adornments, muttered "I'm F###ing over it", and threw everything in the garbage. Yup, in the trash. Normally that would have killed me, but it was oddly satisfying, like I showed them who's boss or something.

Update...I'm picking up a second pair of lashes, in case I'm feeling adventurous again (hides corkscrew).   I'll let you know how it goes.

Karen Ludwig Boudoir is a boudoir photographer, located in the Central Valley, Patterson, California 95363 , about an hour south of Sacramento, and approximately the same distance east of San Francisco. My location allows me to serve clients in the Tri Valley, and Bay area as well. I create intimate portraits of women who are looking for a boutique photographic experience, where they explore their bold sexy side and appreciate their beauty, while creating alluring images of their unique “you”.


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